Few Thoughts On 31…

Next week is my birthday.  I’m turning the big 31!  Last year I softened the blow, I began referring to it as the release of Jess 3.0.  However, this year I am doing better.  It doesn’t seem like such a big deal this time.  But I do have some thoughts…

  • I look around and see where I currently stand.  My life isn’t “bad”.  I have three beautiful children.  I have a roof over everyone’s head.  There is food on our table.  The bills are paid.  I’m making it.  But I do wish I had more to show for it.  I wish I had a better paying job.  Even an office job.  One where I don’t have to work weekends.  I wish I was buying a house instead of renting a house.  I wish I was more financially stable.  I wish that I was in a successful marriage.  I guess I just wish that at 31, I was better off by now.
  • With a 14 year old… in many ways I am glad that I can finally say I am 31 when people ask.  I don’t look it from the get go… but it is even harder to explain sometimes.  Each year that I can add to myself makes it a little easier.  I know that sounds strange.
  • I wish I had already followed through with my initial degree I had chosen.  I changed my mind because when I was married the second time I couldn’t have a day care.  So,  I changed to another degree, which I completed.  However, I must say that I wish the degree was completed instead of doing it now.  I wish I could just open my home day care.
  • I’m at the point that I really have no excitement for my birthday.  I enjoy my change to visit with my family at my dinner.  But once my dinner is over… the whole thing is pretty much done.  I don’t have kids old enough to go shopping for me.  I don’t have a boyfriend/husband to do anything special.  It’s just going to be me and my children, which will be nice until I have to go to work that night.
  • I’m a little irritated that when I was signing up for work, I didn’t pay attention to the dates.  I would really like to be at home instead of working.  But I will put on my navy blue scrubs and go into work.  From what I gather, I’ve got a great group of co-workers that night.  So hopefully it will be great!

Next week… chapter 31 begins.  Hopefully it will be a great one!  Forward progress I hope!


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