Advice… good advice and bad advice. Everyone has advice to offer about everyone and everything. Sometimes you ask for it and sometimes it is unsolicited. In my experience I have received plenty of advice. But today’s post will be about bad advice!
Prompt: ”What is the worst advice you’ve ever received.”
The worst advice I have received was to continue working on my marriage. I will be the first to say that all marriages require work. I will say there are going to be hard times. Yes, generally I agree… continue working on your marriage. It could be completely worth it! But in my case there was chronic cheating and every form of abuse recognized. When your life is endangered you shouldn’t follow the advice of those that tell you to keep working on it. Leave. Don’t return (it will get worse). They will sweet talk you. They will promise to never do it again. Rarely will they change… even with anger management classes.
Please understand that people who haven’t been in the situation will never understand. They will give you a simple answer. Most commonly you hear one of two things. The first is to just leave… it’s really not that hard. The second is going to be to stop triggering them. In all honesty, neither piece of advice is very easy. It’s not that easy to just leave. There are a lot of emotions in a marriage, even when they are abusive. There are also things to consider… there are often threats made against someone who leaves. Going back will make things worse (as they typically see you as “weak” resulting in more serious beatings). It’s not just as easy as leaving… but it does need to be done. But telling someone to stay… stop triggering him/her, that just makes a person feel like they are at fault. Let me tell you, there is NO reason for a man/woman to hit another person. I don’t care how angry they are getting. It is unacceptable to hit another person or make them feel like they are worthless.
Stay. Work on it. Stop pushing his/her buttons. It is against your religion to divorce. It is just a bruise/cut. It is your fault. Just some anger management classes. This is just a small part of the worst advice I’ve ever received.