So, on day two of this August challenge I was to post about the topic of wishes. I’m looking forward to sharing just a few of the wishes that float through my head from day to day. Except that this is just a small selection of today’s wishes. The top wishes.
Topic: “If you had three wishes what would they be and why?”
I wish that I could speed up time. I have just begun school again and I am eager to get it over with! There are two main reasons that I am still working outside of the house. The first reason is because I have to be able to have the budget to not be working while I am building up my business. I’m really excited about getting that budget together. But you know that takes time and planning. But I know that I am going to have to be prepared for the slow start with licensing requirements and such. The second reason why I’m still working outside of the house is because I need to make a lot of progress on my classes before I quit. I won’t say it has to be completely finished but it does have to be closer because that will increase my likelihood that I will be able to find clients. Because, let’s face it… I will be caring for the future generations and parents should be concerned that not just ANYBODY cares for their children full time. I don’t think that an occasional babysitter will have to have their formal education in child care but for someone who wants to do it full time… I think it’s important. If I could just make a wish that I want to come true, speed up time and complete these classes!
The second wish that I would like to have come true is being more comfortable being alone. I’ve never been good at being “single” or “alone”. I’m still definitely not very good with it now either. But I am making it. My children DO help because I’m not completely alone. But sometimes I think that there might be a part of me that wonders what would happen if they weren’t around. There are a lot of times that, although the children help, it isn’t the same as having an adult around to spent time with. I really do struggle with a lot of anxiety about being alone. I’m not really sure why I am like that though… just something I’ve always struggled with. I’m working on getting better at this… to better myself, for myself but also for my kids. They deserve for me to be content no matter what the situation is. I think that right now is a good time to work on it. I am single and I am in an area where I am forced to learn to deal with things. It’s good timing also because I’m still really scared of getting hurt again so I am kind of taking every aspect very slowly. Which I am okay with. That little graphic kind of describes exactly what I am feeling.
The last wish that I would like to make come true… and it’s a big one! I wish that my children had a better dad. As hard as co-parenting is with two parents, I wish that I had to deal with that for my kids instead of explaining to them why their father really only wants to see them 30 days in the summer (if that). Their father isn’t a very active role all the time in their lives. He sometimes pays his child support. Which is a quarter of what most people pay for three children. But when he has other things going on… he doesn’t pay (which of course isn’t a luxury that I have). He also doesn’t have a whole lot of drive to visit with the kids. I think that the main thing I’ve noticed is he really wants to see them when he has a girlfriend or some girl to impress. When the kids come back from their visitation, he will spend a bit of time texting with Laura but then he backs way off. Every time I have to explain, it breaks my heart. Really breaks my heart. But I know that someday he will have to explain for himself. Because I’m doing my part! It would just be helpful and nice for them to have that extra parent.