I want to start my post by saying that my children mean the world to me. They always have meant the world to me. They are my reason for getting out of bed and conquering another day. They are my inspirations. They are my everything. So, please don’t judge me on my parenting style.
I have been playing the role of single mom for awhile now. For about 11 months I had a boyfriend that we lived with who was a father figure to my children. During that time, I learned a little different lifestyle that I really liked. Which is where this post is coming into play in the first place.
Before I started dating “J” I had a completely different lifestyle. In several aspects. But the aspect I will cover today is the aspect of “family” or “family time”. I had been coasting through life the best way I knew how… and that was any way to make my family work. It wasn’t easy. I dated and lived with “J” for 11 months as a couple and 15 months all together. So, I’ve had a bit of time to watch the way of the family dynamic and to adapt to how to place that same dynamic into effect for my own family.
Before I started dating “J” I worked at a different hospital. I worked full time to start with. For awhile I worked 8 hour shifts, 5 nights a week. Then, I switched to 12 hour shifts, 3 nights a week. But because I felt the need that the best way I could “provide” for my children was to bring in more money. To have the ability to provide them with more things. I was working 12 hour shifts almost every day of the week. Many times, every day of the week. I would sleep while the kids were in school and then I would spend time with them in the evening until I left for work. I was exhausted most of the time.
The family that welcomed me when I started dating “J” was very close. They spent much more time together. They work…they pay their bills…but they see the importance of spending family time together. They know the importance of getting together regularly. They know the importance of visiting people who are older or sick. It was an environment that I thrived on. Although, it did take a little bit of time for me to adjust to that kind of lifestyle. In comparison to the one I am used to, which is getting together for birthdays and some holidays. But I really did thrive on the lifestyle of being together. I began to discuss it with “J” about the differences in lifestyle and I was always reminded that I was the one with the control to change of lifestyle. He’s right.
So, one of the aspects of the job that I currently have is that although I don’t make a lot of money… I make enough money that as long as I stick with my budget I don’t have to work as much overtime. Rarely HAVE to work overtime really. I will probably just pick up enough hours to make up for the 8 hour difference. Since working 12 hours actually leaves you short 4 hours a week. I actually haven’t made up that time I’m “short” yet.
I’m really happy about getting to spend some more time with my children. This is the beginning of a different lifestyle for all of us now that we are on our own. One of a few lifestyle changes that are in the process of happening. I’m eager for another step I’m wanting to take pretty soon.